Why do we push our daughters to be educated, independent, confident, self-aware, and financially stable? Why encourage them to speak their minds, make their own decisions, and spend so much on their education?

I ask because society isn’t ready for these strong, independent women. It struggles to accept and support women who are self-assured and ambitious. It isn’t comfortable with women achieving success, confident in their own worth. Instead, society wants women to be soft, submissive, insecure, and dependent, constantly doubting themselves and falling into the background.

The sad part is that many women themselves perpetuate these harmful ideas. There are women, educated or not, who feel insecure and resentful, unable to accept others doing well. They tear down other women by criticizing their looks, personality, or success. Whether too fair or too dark, too strong or too emotional, too ambitious or too passive, women are constantly judged by these narrow standards.

Throughout a woman’s life, she faces endless labels and judgments, from questions about her marriageability to critiques of her homemaking skills. If she’s a stay-at-home mom, she’s criticized for “not working”; if she’s a working mom, she’s judged for “not raising her kids properly.” Even in childbirth, women are pitted against each other, with judgments about whether C-sections or natural deliveries are harder.

Worse, this mindset often comes from other women. Many women enable emotional and mental abuse by constantly tearing down others. Physical abuse isn’t the only harm, emotional and mental abuse is just as damaging when it comes from the people who should support you.

So, if this is the reality women face, when women around you have to go through all this and you will do this to other women, why do we bother making them strong and independent, only to have society crush their spirit? If we want the best for our daughters, we need to change our mindset. We must stop judging women by their appearance, actions, or choices. Instead of perpetuating toxicity, women need to support each other, lifting one another up.

True empowerment means creating an environment where women can live as normal human beings, free from constant scrutiny. It means making room for women to make their own choices, succeed, and grow without needing “special treatment.”

But this change starts at home. Are we ready to make it?